Yikes, it’s been awhile. I wish I could say I’ve been busy with something important, but I’m actually just lazy and not good at consistent blogging. Sorry everyone.
In all my recent free time, however, I’ve been watching and harshly judging all of the Christmas rom-coms on Netflix because I know you all care about my opinion on this subject. Originally, I was going to rate them all on a scale of 1 - Love, Actually (the best Christmas rom-com of all time), but none of these even compare. Instead, I just went with 1 - actually a good movie, which none of them really were. You should probably watch all of these regardless of how trash I say they are, because the worst Christmas movies are actually the most entertaining.
A Christmas Prince. Journalist goes undercover to a fake European country and pretends to be the princess’ new tutor. Against all odds, she wins the heart of the prince who had to become the king when his father suddenly died. I think some other stuff happened, but who cares? Some criticize this movie because the couple got engaged after knowing each other for like three days, but I can’t take away points as that is a key component of all good(bad) holiday rom-coms. I haven’t watched this in a year, but I hated the sequel, so figured I should include it.
Acting: 5
Plot: 6
Overall: 5.5
A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. Your least favorite journalist is back in the fake country of Aldovia, and she clearly has NOT watched The Princess Diaries to prepare for her new life. This woman was engaged to a king for a full year and was ENTIRELY unprepared to become queen. Why hasn’t she spent more time in the country she’s becoming queen of? Why would she think they’d let her blog about life inside the palace? And WHY WHY WHY has no one made her change her wardrobe? There’s a lot more to the movie, but all in all I just hate Amber and her fake journalism expertise so much that it ruined it for me. And her wedding dress was hideous.
Acting: 5
Plot: 3
Overall: 4
Christmas Wedding Planner. Girl planning her cousin’s wedding serendipitously meets a boy who happens to be the cousin’s ex-boyfriend but also a detective who also owns a restaurant. I know, I’m confused writing it. This one kept me on my toes because I really had no idea what was going on the whole time. I kind of expected a murder or something? Despite the confusion, however, I was mildly entertained.
Acting: 3
Plot: 4
Overall: 3.5
The Holiday Engagement. This just reaffirmed my theory that hiring a fake boyfriend is the key to true love. Who’s coming home with me next Thanksgiving? Applications open next week.
Acting: 3
Plot: 6
Overall: 4.5
Christmas in the Smokies. A country star returns to his hometown for no clear reason and his high school girlfriend is still mad he left her a decade ago. Close the yearbook, girl. I think my resentment toward country music ruined this one for me. It was so predictable and for whatever reason, the plot didn’t hold my attention at all. Tragic. Hope the protagonist’s berry farm survives.
Acting: 5
Plot: 4
Overall: 4.5
The Princess Switch. Vanessa Hudgens goes to a fake European country for a baking competition and switches places with Vanessa Hudgens the princess-to-be. Will Vanessa 1 win the baking contest? Will Vanessa 2 marry the prince? Will anyone fall in love with the right person? This movie would’ve been infinitely better if Vanessa Hudgens’ British accent didn’t suck. Would recommend watching it, though. Two whole love stories in one movie!!!
Acting: 4
Plot: 6
Overall: 5
The Spirit of Christmas. Falling in love with a ghost is a bit of a stretch, I’ll admit, but it was a really cute spin on the typical big-city-girl-goes-to-small-town-for-work-and-learns-true-meaning-of-Christmas story. Some sources said the ending didn’t quite make sense, but I’m willing to overlook it due to the hot ghost.
Acting: 7
Plot: 8
Overall: 7.5
The Holiday Calendar. This one followed a pretty typical childhood-best-friends love story pattern with some ~holiday magic~ involved. Five minutes in, you know exactly how it’s going to end. Still, it was pretty cute and the acting was more convincing than any of the rest of these.
Acting: 8
Plot: 6
Overall: 7
Christmas With a View. A celebrity chef shows up at this girl’s small town ski resort to save the restaurant AND win her heart. Swoon. Not the most exciting movie in this bunch, but the plot was slightly different, thus not entirely predictable. Even though I wouldn’t suggest this one for a movie night, I wouldn’t be mad if someone else played it while I was present. Would consider watching again.
Acting: 7
Plot: 6
Overall: 6.5
Christmas Crush. 10-year high school reunion + Christmas. A girl doesn’t want to admit she’s a failure because she’s still in love with her high school boyfriend. Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls is also there. I’m embarrassed for this girl, seriously. They spent the whole movie talking about this life-changing solo she had in her glee club and she can’t! even! sing! Pathetic. This is the only one I really don’t think anyone should watch because it just sucks.
Acting: 3
Plot: 2
Overall: 2.5 (and that’s generous)
No Sleep Til Christmas. This brand new Freeform original Christmas movie (sponsor me) is actually on Hulu instead of Netflix, and I watched it with my roommate while writing this post. Two people in Chicago suddenly discover they’re unable to sleep in the month of December. While out one night, the girl runs over the boy and tries to take him to the E.R. They fall asleep in her car in the parking lot. The first time they’ve slept in days. BUT. She’s engaged. *Gasp* This story was unique. Awful script, but I was at least entertained.
Acting: 6
Plot: 7
Overall: 6.5
HONORABLE MENTION: Although not a rom-com, The Christmas Chronicles was SUCH a good new movie this year. They really mixed up the kids-trying-to-catch-Santa thing and it worked well. If any movie on this list deserves 10/10, it’s this one. Watch it if you don’t hate joy. Consider watching it even if you do.
Obviously, there are plenty more terrible holiday themed rom-coms out there. I hope to one day watch them all, but I am just one girl who struggles greatly with prioritizing her free time. Definitely let me know if I missed any of your (least) favorites, and I’ll add them to my watch list. Happy holidays, everyone! I probably won’t be back until 2019 because of my aforementioned lack of motivation, but thanks for actually reading this (even if you’re judging me for thinking anyone cares what I think about bad Christmas movies — I would be too).