I know in the past four months I could’ve written about my trip to Paris or my surprisingly successful dry January or spending Valentine’s day doing jello shots in Tori’s apartment or my 24th birthday or all of the boys I talked to on Hinge then didn’t actually date, but something about sitting in my parents’ basement doing nothing all day really makes a gal want to continue being unproductive all night.
And I did, in fact, write half a post about how we almost missed our flight to Paris and then I yelled at all my friends and then Annie took a sleeping pill and had a dream about raising my triplets (?) and a herd of sheep flocked to me at Versailles, but again, motivation to complete it simply never came.
Ultimately, I was hoping to have some content to write about getting my wisdom teeth out today — or yesterday, pending what time I publish this — but much to my dismay, I did not do or say anything remotely embarrassing post-surgery. My mom did think I was hallucinating when I said I met a dog in the hallway, but as it turns out there really is a dog named Winston who works at the oral surgeon’s office.
Regardless, that didn’t give me anything fun to talk about either, but enough people have asked me where my blog went that I decided to give a brief update on the things I have not accomplished in the past two and a half months I’ve spent at home.
It all started two days before my birthday, when my team at work was unsure if it was a good idea for me to go to Nebraska because we were worried this would all blow over and I’d get stuck at home after the office reopened. Now that we’ve realized that’s clearly not happening, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on how much I hate working from home.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m lucky to have a job I can do from my parents’ basement in pajamas every day, but I never thought I could actually miss my inconsistent sleep schedule, 45 minute commute and daily $6 iced coffee so much (well, obviously I miss the coffee but the rest doesn’t quite make sense). Something about the walk across Central Park and fighting for a seat on the train really woke me up in the morning so I was ready for the day by the time I got to the office. Now, I’m lucky if I wake up with time to brush my teeth before my first meeting of the day.
And please note that in that early morning meeting, I will NEVER turn my video on. Despite the fact that I didn’t usually wear makeup to work to begin with, I somehow manage to look even worse with each day I spend at home, and I don’t want my coworkers to remember me like this. They’re only allowed to see me when I feel bad enough about myself to do my hair and makeup and then sit outside by the pool to make Nebraska look more fun and cool than New York.
Other than that, though, all I’ve really done at home is go on socially distant walks with my friends, shop at Trader Joe’s every other week, read like 47 books and watch a lot of bad TV. I’m almost done with my sixth Sex and the City rewatch and just restarted Avatar the Last Airbender. The only real recommendation I have is that you should all watch Hollywood on Netflix.
I’m sorry this wasn’t interesting at all, I honestly don’t know what you expected. Maybe next week/month/year I’ll take the time to write about the books I read or the musicals I would’ve seen if Broadway hadn’t closed, but for now we’re all going to have to live with this. I promise the minute I do something remotely exciting I will wait 3-6 weeks to carve out the time to write about it.
Don’t forget to wear a mask! Stop breaking social distancing rules! Say safe!