Over the past two months, I’ve spent more time in Nebraska than I have in the rest of the year combined (which makes sense, I guess, but it still felt like a lot). As anticipated, those I saw at home bombarded me with an abundance of personal questions, so I figured I’d share my answers with all of you in case anyone else was considering reaching out to ask about my job and/or my sex life (this was a topic of conversation at dinner with family friends).
When are you moving back to Nebraska?
Not in the foreseeable future.
So you’re, like, staying in New York forever?
I didn’t say that.
Well where else would you move?
I’ll let you know when I decide to move there.
Your Instagram story six weeks ago said you were promoted!
I was!
And you’re going to Paris?
Yes.
So you got a raise and decided to spend all the money instead of saving any?
Ah yes, now you understand my budgeting strategy.
What part of New York do you live in?
[intersection redacted for safety purposes (I just watched season two of You)]
Oh! I don’t know where that is.
It’s by Central Park!
Ooooooooh. Cool!
I know you still don’t know where that is.
Do you still take…. the bus…. to work?
I am such a huge advocate for the bus. It has WiFi. It has outlets. I love the bus so much.
How many modes of public transportation have you cried on?
All of them?
I could never live in such a big city. Do you actually like it?
I seriously moved here because I LOVE NEW YORK SO MUCH. Favorite city. It’s the best. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Is living in NYC just like a sitcom?
Honestly, my friends and I go to a wine bar by our office so often that the bartenders apologized when we showed up and someone else was in our corner. So yes, this is Friends.
Oh good, so you have friends?
I have the best friends, truly. Shoutout to Starcom, Chi Omega and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln for making my social life possible.
Speaking of friends… a lot of your friends from home have gotten engaged/married this year.
That’s not a question.
Are you going to get married?
To whom?
Do you have a boyfriend?
Unfortunately the hot Starbucks barista who knew my name & order no longer works the morning shift, so I am back on the market.
Are you going to be on Broadway?
Maybe if I re-learn how to dance, take some voice lessons and start auditioning (so, no).
What about off-Broadway? Off-off Broadway?
If my living room counts as off-off-Broadway, I can assure you my residency there is going extremely well.
Did you cut your hair? Are you okay?
This was actually a well thought-out, non-mental-breakdown-related haircut.
What’s your brother doing?
Getting internships that pay more than my full-time job ever will, and preparing to move as far from me as possible.
If he moves to California would you move to California?
He can move to New York (but he won’t).
Where did you get that coat from that Instagram picture?
Anthropologie, of course!
Why were you out until 9 a.m. on New Years?
Why weren’t you?
If you have any questions beyond what I answered above, please hold on to those until Easter. I’ll be holding a press conference at a TBD date/time/location to provide further updates on my life.
Best,
Maddie