I have a tendency to romanticize New York, which makes sense as my decision to move here was inspired by years of watching Gossip Girl, Sex and The City and every single rom com set in this overcrowded traschan of a city. The rose-colored glasses I view the city through help me ignore the ever present smell of urine in the summer, and have made me see the bright side in the less fortunate situations I’ve gotten myself into. Instead of being upset when my phone was stolen, for example, I considered it an item checked off my bucket list.
I wish I had actually posted a ridiculous NYC bucket list when I first moved here, but you’ll all just have to settle for me sharing a half-completed one now. And yes, as always, this is entirely serious.
COMPLETED
Obviously the most exciting adventure of my year — get pickpocketed. I’ve gotta say, having your phone stolen with another person makes it a lot more bearable. And all in all, the only downside to the phone stealing incident is that I’m now absolutely paranoid and check my pockets and purse every 46 seconds to make sure everything is accounted for.
Get hit by a bike. One day while crossing 9th Ave on 42nd Street (terrible place to be, I know) — during a green light, at the crosswalk — a biker swerved around a car and ran into me. I literally put my hands out to stop him and ended up keeping him from falling, so you could say I save his life. I don’t know why I was excited to tell people this happened, but everyone involved was fine, so I can make a joke about it.
Walk the Brooklyn Bridge. I spent three months living right next to the bridge and never made it all the way across. But don’t worry, I’ve since done it three times. The view is prettier if you start in Brooklyn, but you can get Shake Shack after if you start in Manhattan. What’s more important?
Attend the Tony Awards. I almost cried. I probably did cry and don’t remember because I was so overwhelmed. That was possibly the best night of my life.
Find my friends’ houses without using Google Maps. I know where, like, five people live. Last week, I made it to BedStuy by pure guesswork. Never expected this of myself.
Go dog watching in Central Park. This is a crucial part of my morning commute on days when I wake up early enough to walk through the park. No better way to start the day than by saying hello to 76 dogs.
Make my way through the Met without getting lost. To be fair, this only happened once, when I had been there four times in six weeks, but I still considered it an accomplishment. If anyone ever wants to look at some Seurat, that’s the only room I know how to find.
Cry in public. I’m working on a bingo board of places I’ve cried, but so far the highlights include the M96 bus, the 6 train, the 3 train, my office and of course Times Square.
Go on a date with a stranger and not get murdered. After watching “You” on Netflix, I was understandably terrified of all men, but don’t worry. I’ve been on five (5) dates and have yet to be locked in the basement of a bookstore and left to die. I’m also on a dating app cleanse (yes, a cleanse, what else should I call it?) until after Thanksgiving. So don’t worry, I’m probably safe until Christmas.
Learn how to do fun things by myself. That’s right, I’ve finally found the key to achieving everything in the next section. My definition of “fun things” may just be going to museums or walking a four mile round trip to get a bagel, but that’s something, right? Last time I spent a day by myself, a random woman at the Guggenheim used her free guest pass on me because I look nice. I need to pass on that good karma so this can keep happening to me.
NEED TO DO
Go to SNL. Supposedly I can get in through work, but I’m still scared to ask. I will eventually. Or I’ll enter the lottery like a normal person. Or just give up.
Visit every park in the city. Maybe just the big ones. This is probably going to be a bigger task than I anticipated, but I went to Prospect and Riverside parks for the first time in the last week and was inspired. I love living by Central Park, and the aforementioned dog watching that goes along with that, but I can certainly branch out.
Coney Island. I was supposed to go one time in 2017, but then it rained and nobody has been willing to go with me since. I don’t mind doing things alone, but this one just sounds sad. I’m picturing a grown up version of Dakota Fanning in “Uptown Girls” just looking tragic in a spinning teacup.
Go to the Statue of Liberty. I don’t even really want to do this, but I feel like I need to go at least once. Right?
Walk all of Manhattan. Every once in awhile when I’m feeling ambitious or having a mental breakdown, I’ll walk 106 blocks home from work (okay fine I’ve only done this twice), and it’s honestly very refreshing. So why not just walk.... the whole city?
See every musical that opens ever. Or at least as many as possible. This is obviously a work in progress.
Write something that’s published literally anywhere other than this blog. It’s come to my attention that this is a great (albeit soul crushing) city for writers. Who knew? Guess I’ll work on that.
Also sing somewhere other than my room or the work talent show. If anyone wants to join my a cappella group that’s currently just me, please send an email.
Find the absolute best everything bagel with veggie cream cheese in the city. I know I promised a full bagel blog post 6 months ago, but I’m kinda flakey. Sorry.
Force all of my friends to eat at Veselka. This is another ongoing task, but I’m doing the best I can. 24-hour Ukrainian food is extremely important to me.
Have my very own washer/dryer. I know it’ll probably be years before I can afford an apartment with in-unit laundry, but a girl can dream, can’t she?
Live in a building with an elevator. Or at LEAST be lower than the sixth floor. I know I signed up for this, but I’m tired of it. I also know I willingly re-signed my lease for another year, but that won’t stop me from yelling any time someone with fewer stairs than me tries to complain about their apartment.
Casually run into Nick Jonas in the West Village. One time, my boss told me he saw the Jonas Brothers at The Dutch and my friend and I literally ran there in hopes of sitting down for a drinks and just so happening to see them. Unfortunately, we were too late, but I WILL make it happen eventually.
Come up with a good response to “wow I could NEVER live in such a big city.” Hopefully I can cross this one off before Thanksgiving.
Ride the Staten Island Ferry drunk while eating a hot dog. I almost did this one time last year — with friends, I’m not that crazy — but it started raining and we never tried again. I have no intention of actually venturing into Staten Island, but it’s fun to ride the ferry back and forth.
Visit all five boroughs. If you count the Staten Island ferry station (I never said I hadn’t been on the ferry sober), I’ve technically been to every borough but the Bronx. I have no reason to go there other than to cross it off a list, but that won’t stop me.
There are probably 50 things I’m forgetting here, but these seem like the most pressing at the moment. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re interested in completing any of these extremely important bucket list items with me at any time. If there’s something else you think I should to this list, also let me know. I’m always open to feedback.